Friday, September 28, 2018

Understanding Trump and the way his mind works: Disassociation

 Introduction.

     In order to give a proper explanation of my theories about the various examples of abnormal psychology that are so numerous in Trump and his supporters it is necessary to start somewhere; and personally I can think of no more logical starting point for our collective journey into madness than with a deep examination of the man at the center of all this- Donald J. Trump. Despite the real chaos that constantly surrounds everything the man touches, there is a comprehensible rhyme and reason to what he does. Its just that understanding the man requires one to first discard every unspoken assumption about the inner world of human beings that the average person has hitherto never realized they were carrying about. For Donald Trump does not experience reality in a way that is comprehensible to anyone who only known regular waking consciousness in their life. Donald Trump is in a permanently disassociated "autopilot" state- and he is further (quite literally) physically addicted to receiving public praise.

     Before I dive deeply into this material I must get some disclaimers out in the open. I am first and foremost a survivor of severe narcissistic abuse that I experienced both at the hands of my biological mother (whom has N.P.D.) and the leader who ran the religious "school" that my k-8 education*. Although I broke away from that cult in my teen years-, my late teens through my 20's saw me involved with a variety of cults and cult-like groups** (e.g. I was both a 1st generation 9-11 truther and an influential thinker in the very early Otherkin community). Eventually I hit my personal rock bottom and checked myself into treatment, got a formal diagnosis (Schizoaffective Disorder, PTSD, Agoraphobia), started medication/therapy and haven't looked back since. My theories are a result of reflecting on my experiences and how I understand the motivations/inner world/experiences of the person(cultist) I once was. I am not a scientist and possess no formal training in psychology. I further possess only four years of actual education (Grades 9-12) and beyond that have done the best I can do teach myself and patch the holes in my education.

*Accelerated Christian Education is (and I state this emphatically) nothing more than weaponized child abuse that has been enabled for political purposes by the GOP.

**Often but not always these groups were lead by individuals with Cluster B Personality disorders such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

     Now with that bit of personal history* out of the way let us focus on what I theorize is going on in the head of a Narcissist like Donald Trump**. As hinted at above there are two primary factors at work in the mind of Donald Trump:

  1. A permanently dissasocaited "autopilot" state brought on by extreme and repeated traumas during childhood.
  2. A physical addiction (as in the brain has physically rewired itself in the same manner as a substance addict) to narcissistic supply.


*Narcissism

**Disclaimer: I do not believe that every individual with NPD will conform to my model of Narcissism, rather that Donald Trump (in all probability) represents an identifiable sub type of the disorder.

Running on Autopilot.

     It is very important to specify here that when I state that Trump is in a disassociated "autopilot" state that I am referring to a specific disassociated state. Quoted from The Brain in Defense Mode: How Dissociation Helps Us Survive
Dissociation occurs when someone disconnects from some part of himself or herself or the environment. It can occur in a number of different ways, including disconnection from one’s emotions, body sensations, memories, senses, etc. A normal and common phenomenon, dissociation can happen in mild forms even when there is not imminent danger or stress. Think of a time you drove somewhere, arrived, and then couldn’t remember the drive because your mind was wandering; an instance when you lost track of time because you were engrossed in a riveting television show; or when you disconnected from body sensations to avoid going to the bathroom when you were on a tight deadline at work.

Dissociation is something we all do, and it is a vital part of our ingrained survival system. It is a part of the system that helps us to cope with stressful situations, which may otherwise feel overwhelming (Steinberg and Schnall, 2001). It is built in and is not pathological (Ross and Halpern, 2011). However, when a trauma occurs, sometimes this built-in system disconnects to a greater degree in an effort to protect the individual from traumatic material, body sensations, emotions, or memories that may be overwhelming.
Dissociation related to trauma occurs in varying degrees. On the lower end of the dissociation spectrum, for example, let’s say someone was in a car accident. A few days after the accident, the person finds that he or she cannot recall parts of the accident, even though reports of others were that he or she was conscious and responsive during those times he or she cannot recall. On the other end of the spectrum, someone who was severely abused throughout life can dissociate to the point that he or she has more than one personality, all of whom display and contain their own characteristics and who hold different memories associated with the trauma.
For the traumatized individual, dissociation may help him or her to survive circumstances that may have otherwise been intolerable. Dissociation can help a person feel as if situations, his or her body sensations, emotions that would have been overwhelming, etc., are muted and distorted so he or she can then go into “autopilot” mode and survive extreme situations and circumstances. When trauma is ongoing, dissociation can become “fixed and automatic” (Steinberg and Schnall, 2001). When this is the case, integration of memories becomes difficult for the brain, and the brain also continues to send of signals of danger, even when the traumatic situation is over (Steinberg and Schnall, 2001). This can continue for years after a traumatic situation has ended.


     My contention here is that Trump is not merely disassociated from his real emotions and identity- he is so extremely disassociated that for all intents and purposes his brain cannot process his experiences from a 1st person perspective. It is important to understand that there are a variety of dissociative symptoms and dissociative states, I am arguing that what Trump experiences is the sort of full "autopilot" mode that is sometimes triggered in times of great crisis. (If you have ever read a diseaster survivors account of seeming to watch themselves going through something horrific-  being capable of literally anything in the moment then it is that specific state I am discussing here.) Even amongst those with disassociative disorders who have experienced this state (such as myself, unfortunately) this particular degree of disassociation is usually a temporary affair that passes shortly after the danger does. (Although other symptoms of disassociation will remain in effect for much longer after such an experience, the particular state of full "autopilot" disassociation will pass.) It is my belief that while this state is a normal response to extreme danger/stress- remaining permanently in such a state is not.

     I have several times experienced this state for myself as a result of extreme situations, and in one case I experienced a prolonged period of this autopilot state that lasted several months. It is......difficult to explain what spending an extended period of time in such a radically different psychological state is like or what it means, but I will endeavor to do my best to convey the essence of the experience.

     It is as if the portion of the mind that is responsible for creating an internal monologue/internal experience of reality has been switched off- only a machine with an agenda remains. That agenda is always about surviving the trauma/stress that initially triggered the autopilot state, but after that has passed and the autopilot state remains the agenda will shift. Bereft of any form of conscience or restraint an individual in this state rapidly becomes a pleasure seeking machine driven by the urges of a completely unrestrained id.

    Another complication of this autopilot state is the lack of internal feedback one experiences about oneself- without an internal monologue the brain has no way of knowing anything about itself. As a result a dependency on others to provide a substitute for the missing internal monologue rapidly develops. As a result the Narcissist can only acquire information about themselves through the medium of the reactions they produce in other human beings. Narcissists are often being depicted as obsessively staring into a mirror- I believe this is a perfect metaphor if you modify it slightly so that all the mirrors are the faces of those around the Narcissist. Stated another way, a Narcissist can only acquire information about themselves in the 3rd person- they rely on the reactions they produce in others to replace their lost inner dialogue. In the case of the subject of this essay it is highly probable that this unfortunate state of affairs was brought about by horrific and extensive abuse perpetrated on a young Donald Trump by his parents.

    To clarify: I am arguing here then that (in order to first produce this autopilot state) during his very early formative years Donald Trump was repeatedly put into this emergency autopilot state by the abuse/trauma his parents visited upon him- until one time the autopilot state never switched back off and instead became his default (and only) mode of operation. This is the first half of what I believe comprises a Trump-style Narcissist, the 2nd half is a physical addiction to narcissistic supply.




Constantly high on his own Supply.




     Once this permanent autopilot state is attained the brain will (over a period of time) reorient itself to its new operating environment. In the abstract the brain is a pleasure seeking machine, and without any form of internal restraint whatsoever* the brain will simply seek pleasure wherever it finds it without regards for any of the consequences that their behavior has on other people. Because a person trapped in this permanent autopilot state can only acquire information about themselves through the medium of the reactions they generate in other human beings- they are only capable of experiencing pleasure through this convoluted medium as well. So in order to experience pleasure a Narcissist must be told they are experiencing pleasure through the reactions they generate in others- and a Narcissist quickly becomes attuned to the specific reactions of others that cause them to experience pleasure. The pleasure the Narcissist experiences from certain reactions can produce a euphoric "high" that is druglike both in its intensity and duration. This druglike euphoria is what I define as "narcissistic supply", and like any other addict the life of the Narcissist becomes singularly focused on remaining forever in this euphoric state.



    

 *No conscience, no self awareness, no guilt, no shame, no regret, no recognition of the sentience or inner world of other people. 




Friday, September 21, 2018

Weekly content updates starting 9/28. Here is a bit of a preview.

Whew, it has been entirely too long since I updated this website. Personally I think its well past time I changed that state of affairs, as I just hate it when an oddball internet personality abandons an interesting project/stops updating. So I refuse to be the girl that does that.

I haven't updated in a long time for a variety of reasons- but they mostly come down to needing to work on some personal issues before I was prepared to address this kind of material during the Presidency of one Donald J. Trump. And while work on those personal issues continues I feel I am at a point where I can return to this project. More importantly though- I am at a point where this project once again excites me- I am really looking forwards to sharing the neat ideas I have developed over the past year.

During my long hiatus this project was never far from my mind and in the background I have been steadily creating material that I intend to roll out with weekly updates over (at least) the next six months. The scope of my theoretical work has increased tremendously in that time- well beyond just the Narrativist Framework. I now consider Narrativism to be one example of a "Self Replicating Behavior Pattern"; that is to say an identifiable behavior pattern that is transmissible from person to person.

In addition to Narrativists I have created several new frameworks that describe two additional self replicating patterns (Cooperators and Metathinkers), as well as what I consider to be the two archetypes that separate distinct forms of each pattern (Structuralists and Integrators). Underlying all of this is a theory of the subconscious mind that is my current best attempt to explain the existence of Self Replicating Behavior Patterns (HumanOS Framework*)

*Despite the implications of the name the HumanOS Framework is not meant to argue that the human brain is literally a computer, rather it uses concepts from computing as metaphors to explain my theories about the relationship between the conscious and subconscious mind. I have discarded two previous versions of this framework- 1.) an attempt to explain these theories using the bridge of the Starship Enterprise as a basis and 2.) a version of this framework that compared the subconscious mind to a gigantic industrial facility and the conscious mind as an out-of-touch manager that had never "visited the factory floor". For a variety of reasons both of these were discarded in favor of using computer metaphors.

Once I have elaborated on these new Frameworks (as well as doing a general rewrite/improvement on the existing articles for Narrativism) I intend to use these concepts to explore various cultures/subcultures from a novel perspective. For example I consider the Anabaptist subculture (Amish and Mennonites) to be an example of a "Structuralist/Narrativist" culture- one whose 500 year stability gives a hint of both the strength of human unity that can be achieved through a commonly shared story as well as hinting at Narrativism having been at one time in human history a beneficial self replicating pattern. Another example of my future work is a small series of essays laying out the case that the phenomenon of Hikkikomori in Japan is a consequence of a dramatic increase in the Integrator pattern in Japanese society- with a hypothesis that this shift was in large caused by Japanese youth experiencing a dramatic increase in their media consumption in the years since the end of WWII.

The coming updates to this website are not limited solely to my theoretical work- one of the lessons of the past year has been that I need to follow my muse a little more often instead of trying to force myself to write a specific sequence of articles. Towards this end I am working on articles that will dive deeply into a variety of topics that have caught my interest- everything from the (mostly forgotten) history of Slenderman to a deep dive on the underlying psychology being exploited by the operators of the Qanon cult. (And yes, at this point it is a cult.)

So keep an eye on this blog and spread the word. Weekly (perhaps even a little more) updates to this website begin on 9/28.